Improvements - but I do not know why

Getting better is just as much of a mystery as getting sick. 

I’ve been moved to a lower security jail. It’s a bit bigger in size, allows more freedom and activities, and the guards are lazier with their punishments. It’s only a small improvement when measured against what I used to be able to do, but it’s definitely there. There was a period of time in my almost four years of CFS imprisonment, where the punishments for even just thinking about poking my nose outside my safe zone were severe, arbitrary, often delayed and unpredictable. It seemed like psychological as well as physical abuse. “6 weeks in solitary with ball and chains shackled to your glands for you, you terrible, stupid, bad-at-managing CFS person”. Now it’s like the guards can’t really be bothered interrupting their game of cards to inflict the punishment for overdoing it (technically known to us fatiguetards as “Post exertional malaise”). They might reluctantly get up off their bums to make me feel crap for an hour or so, or a day at most, just to follow prison protocol and tick the boxes, but then they can’t be bothered any more, because there’s an important game of footy on the telly.

I have been doing lots of things with the aim of getting better, like taking piles of supplements and using an allergy vacuum cleaner in the house. But I’ve no idea if anything I’m doing is actually responsible for the improvement, or it’s just the passing of time that has helped. (And my mostly good behavior with extreme pacing).

I’ve been trying and failing to do gut healing diets for a fair while now, as gut health is supposed to be linked to overall health, and I can have relatively easy control over what I eat, compared to what I breathe and what my epigenetic profile is doing. (And I get daily feedback out the other end). But my guts haven’t been great lately, even though my energy is up. So maybe they’re not connected after all.

I just do not know. 

I do know that CFS is very often a non-linear fluctuating thing, where you can have multiple improvements and relapses over a timescale of many years. So I’m trying not to get too ahead of myself, and still just living life day by day. But I do know it’s a lot less miserable at ”B”, than “A”. So i guess I’ll just keep on doing what I’m doing, slowly.... and going for lots more snorkels now coz I can!