Insomnia

Sleep, oh sweet blessed country of restorative unconsciousness, I have lost my way to your portal.

I have misplaced my off button. I'm stuck chugging on, chugging away, sagging, fading, stumbling onwards and falling forwards....

Your entranceways are hidden, opening only when i am not aware that I am slipping through. If I become alert to your nearness, your doors slam shut and you spirit away, leaving not trace nor trail. You dwell in mysterious anonymity. You will not be pursued or grabbed or forced or bent. Your fluid boundary, the membrane between awake and asleep, is porous for only for those not watching.
I am pressed upon heavily from above, all my body pulled downwards towards you, but I do not peacefully drift or settle. My way is impeded by taut, whirring wires. I'm stuck in a blocked drain.

Faithful and reliable for so many nights....Adrenaline, adrenocorticotrophic, cortisone, cortisol, Melatonin...Pituitary, pineal, adrenals. Don't hold me awake...Let me through...

Sleep, sweet sleep, I am here for you. I love you. I will not resist. Come throw your cloak over me and drag me down. I want to fall deep into you, more than I want anything else. I need refilling from your clear crystal streams. I need rocking on your quiet, gentle seas.

I will lie here. I will wait for you.

I am waiting.